Traditionally, the day before Thanksgiving is a half day for kids in my son’s school district. I am not sure why, but I scheduled my son’s dentist appointment for this same day. Maybe I thought the half day is as much of a lost opportunity as my son thinks it is a waste. That being said, I was still waffling about whether or not I should take him to school after his dentist appointment and let him know the same. He whined like any normal kid and I asked him to give me 10 good reasons he should not have to go to school. The photo is of his actual list but his handwriting is so poor, that I am typing it just to make it more readable.
My editorial comments are in the brackets but otherwise, these are his words verbatim.
- I have nothing due tomorrow (And I only have 3 periods pretty much). [This is an interesting approach for him since he is currently grounded because the school website still shows he has 8 missing assignments.]
- I can check for assignments at home. [As if...]
- I get to spend more time with YOU!
- It wastes gas. Money straight down the drain. [He is appealing to my thrifty ways - never mind that the bus will still come and the same gas is used either way.]
- I can cook you breakfast in bed. (My specialties are bacon and Pillsbury rolls.) [I may take him up on that.]
- No school time means more time devoted to (daily) chores! [And I am certainly going to hold him to that!]
- Just in case someone broke into the house, I would be there to beat him up while you call the cops.
- What if a dragon attacked the school? I’d be toast. [Zoom in on the photo to see his little stick man and what he is saying.]
- Skipping school is fun and it releases happy endorphins so I don’t snap and kill a bunch of babies. [I did not know the babies of Snohomish County were at risk.]
- If I go to school, who will fill the role left by me? No one, that’s who. No one else has the guts. I need to leave a legacy Mom. And if I go to school like every other brainwashed child, what will I live for? Nothing, I tell you, NOTHING! [Clearly, this is my personal favorite.]
- All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
And so, the boy wins.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!